The Importance of Self-Care

Uncategorized Nov 18, 2021

The Importance of Self-Care

BY AMY HARPER, LMFT

"Filling our tier of the fountain is necessary in order to have enough water to fill up the other tiers which are our marriage, children, extended family, friends, colleagues, community, and world."

Self-care is often overlooked as you need a level of awareness to recognize that you do, in fact, need it. We live in a society that rewards and glorifies overworking and sacrificing time for ourselves. Whether it’s in our professional jobs or in our homes, we see this phenomenon. It has proven that it creates an environment which directly affects our mental, physical and emotional well-being in a negative manner. This negativity then seeps into our romantic relationships. 
 
We need to stop feeding into this culture. It’s time to allow ourselves to slow down, breathe and indulge in self-care. Filling our tier of the fountain is necessary in order to have enough water to fill up the other tiers which are our marriage, children, extended family, friends, colleagues, community, and world. It rejuvenates and recharges us into the best versions of ourselves. 
 
Self-care comes in many forms. It can be a day off for yourself to have a pamper day– getting mani-pedis, spending a day at the spa or having your hair done, but it’s not always about pampering… some forms of self-care may surprise you. Let’s go over the 9 Steps to Self-Care to improve our relationship with ourselves.

1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it
 
Trust your instincts. That bad feeling in your stomach whenever something doesn’t feel right, listen to it. Our gut feelings may not always follow logic and reason but it does attune with our inner needs and intuition. It may seem like a risk to listen to it but it can lead us to a better and clearer path. 

2. Don’t be a people pleaser
 
Voice out what you truly feel and say exactly what you mean. Don’t go above and beyond for people at the expense of your own needs and feelings. You are your own person and it’s not a sin to put yourself first. 

3. Never give up on your dreams
 
There is no dream too big. We may be faced with obstacles and hurdles but those are meant to be conquered to achieve your goals and aspirations. No matter how old you are now or where you are in life, your dreams are still worth chasing.

4. Never speak bad about yourself

We are our own biggest critics. It’s a hard habit to break especially if criticizing yourself and overthinking are done on a regular basis. You may find that you get into your head and become the villain in your own story more often than not. Instead of hyper fixating on the wrong things, why not highlight the amazing things you’ve done? Always remember to be kind to yourself. 

5. Don’t be afraid to say no
 
We’re afraid of saying no because we’re scared that we may hurt, disappoint or anger people. This goes back to #2 where we push our needs further back for the sake of other people. It is not worth it to put on unnecessary burdens and stressors in our life just to please others.

6. Don’t be afraid to say yes
 
While there are a lot of things we can say no to, don’t be afraid of saying yes either. This includes opportunities, stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing new experiences. Taking risks is essential to be able to move towards our dreams. Staying afraid of new things only hinders us from the greatness of life.

7. Let go of what you can’t control
 
Refusing to let go of what we can’t control can only lead to anger, resentment, and acting out behaviors. When you learn to let go of things that no longer serve you, a weight gets lifted and you will live freely. 

8. Stay away from drama and negativity
 
When we feed into the drama and negativity, it will eventually latch on to us and our outlook in life will be negative as well. It may seem exciting to keep up and involve ourselves in drama and gossip but this only spreads toxic energy and prevents positive energy from being created and absorbed. It can also act as a distraction from our deeper more meaningful work. 

9. Love
 
Most importantly, we should always choose to love. First, by loving ourselves and fulfilling all our needs by practicing self-care. Once we do this, this love will spread into everyone surrounding us. You will see and feel the difference once you invest in your own well-being. 

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